The art of The chase: how things have changed!

                      

These days I've been noticing that men who try to date me or are interested in me, they take a step back and wait for me to make the first move. I began to wonder where did men go wrong with pursuing women? When did it become okay for a man to step back and wait for a woman to call him, or wait until she says she wants to go out or even tell him the exact time, location and date she wants to step out with him!? 

I know a mans ego is VERY sensitive and I know that with women being "Independent" these days, men are more afraid of rejection than ever before. Instead of him saying "I want to take you out on Friday night at 8pm. I want to take you to this lovely restaurant with great food. You'll love it." the conversation is now " So, when can I take you out?" or "When will you be free to make some time for me?". In that moment your not being confident. You're already thinking of being turned down because of her "busy" schedule. Your not taking initiative and your not showing her that you are a firm leader. TAKE CONTROL OF THE SITUATION! 

No matter how independent a woman seems. No matter how much she appears to be strong minded, walls up, I don't need a man attitude. At the end of the day we are still Woman. Soft, sensual, emotional creatures that need love, attention and a Man. A man who's going to be a MAN! If we know we can control you and have you on a string like a puppet. We will. If we know we can have you down on your knees begging us to "make time" for you so you can take us out on a date, what makes you think you will get any type of respect from her. 

The roles of women and men are getting too far reversed. Maybe I'm old fashioned but I still believe in a man pursing a woman, courting her and making her feel like shes the only woman for him. Most men will say, "Well when I plan the date, she doesn't like it, or she complains." If you have no clue what food she likes or some idea of what she likes to do before your first date, you haven't had much conversation. I don't want to tell you, where I want to go, What I want to eat, pick me up on August 5th at 5:45pm every single time we step out and especially not on a 1st date. You learn things a woman likes through conversation. TAKE CONTROL OF THE SITUATION! Trust me, we want you to! 

I aint sayin she a gold digger....

Women: Get you a good man, with a job a car and a house!

Men: I just want a woman to love me for me not what I have!

There are so many different scenarios between men, women and what makes someone a gold digger.

Let's go back in the day, when a man had to court a woman. He had to ask her father if he could date her for a period of time and then had to ask her father for her hand in marriage. The man had to have a job, a horse and shack for them to live in. The difference now is, that job has to come with benefits, that shack has to be a suitable house and that horse has to be two cars; his and hers. Most of the time she also needs to have a job of her own. 

Before we get to that point there is the dating process and finding a person to get serious with. You look at what you have to offer and your goals for the next five years. When you meet a guy/girl, you mentally make a comparison. What does he/she have to offer? How can we grow together? What can I contribute to his/her life? What can he/she contribute to mine? You wouldn't settle for less than what you feel you deserve, right? If you have set standards and is looking for a specific quality in a guy, you wouldn't be with someone who doesn't have those qualities, right? 

So why do people get a bad rep when they don't want to date someone who they feel is up to their standards. Its all about PREFERENCE. If I don't want to date a man who is in the mail room vs the man who's CEO, why does that ruffle a feather? If a man doesn't  want to date a woman who's the sales lady at Macy's but prefers the Executive assistant in the Macy's Corporate office, that is his preference. When you are at a certain age and you have your shit together you can prefer to date who you want. It Doesn't make you a GOLD DIGGER. If she rather date the guy with the Mercedes not the guy on the dirt bike or if she wants to pick up a bum off the street and help him get his life together, that's his/her PREFERENCE. Some people want to grow and build, some people just want to jump right in. It's ultimately up to you to decide who to date. You shouldn't feel bad for wanting someone who has something to bring to the table.